Light a Candle

Lighting a candle is an act that has significance across the globe and to multiple cultures. We light candles in prayer or meditation. We light them in memory of someone who has passed.  Ceremoniously, candles are lit to emphasize the significance of an event--most notably the Unity Candles used in many weddings. Candlelight is used to enhance an atmosphere: to relax you or create romance. And of course there is the simplest reason to light a candle...to bring light and ward off darkness.


I'm feeling a lot lighter. I've had a great day. The pressures in my life are either gone, or I've become better able to manage them. It's not all "too much" at the moment. I have found that place that I need to be in before I can be creative: I've come unstuck. So I'm lighting a candle today, in hope. I hope my fragile moments of happiness and peace become more frequent. I hope that the people in my life stay healthy and safe.  The "fires of creativity" are tangible to me right now...and I'm sharing them with you.

Pushing Away the Grey

There are days when all I feel are the negative things. I'm angry, frustrated, resentful. Rage simmers below the surface and all I can do is clench my jaw and hold it in. A grey haze surrounds me and I feel isolated. I become strictly task-oriented, doing one thing at a time just to get through the day.

This is a cycle for me. I can sometimes pull myself out with the satisfaction of completing a checklist. Most of the time, however, I need someone else to do it for me--to help me put things in perspective and to make me feel like I am worthy. Humans are social creatures, we need people in our lives who help us feel connected. 

And then there are the random things I see that help me come back to normal. An unexpected glimpse of flowers among the rocks of a retention pond, for example. A small touch of beauty in an unexpected place. It brings a smile and breaks my tunnel vision, allowing me to see the good things--the beautiful things--hidden among the mundane.

Lateralus

Lateralus

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
Lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
Drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.

Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
Red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
Lets me see there is so much more and
Beckons me to look thru to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
Drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.

Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving opportunities behind.
Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.

I embrace my desire to
I embrace my desire to
Feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow
To feel inspired to fathom the power, to witness the beauty,
To bathe in the fountain,
To swing on the spiral
To swing on the spiral
To swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human.

With my feet upon the ground I move myself between the sounds and open wide to suck it in.
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out. I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
What ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.
Spiral out. Keep going.

~Lyrics from www.toolband.com

A good friend said that this song reminded him of me. It does speak to me. A lot of songs do. In this case, his bringing the song back to my attention has inspired me, breaking the two month silence of my creativity. One thing after another built up to steal my energy, but now I'm feeling more myself again. Thank you George.